Finding Comfort In The Darkness

We all have that one friend or two who we can go months without seeing or talking to. We know that when we are able to connect with them, it’ll be like we just spoke to them the day before. Someone we know, no matter what, they’ve got our backs. They will be there to laugh with us and cry with us and are willing to go toe-to-toe with any enemy we may have. Now, we all know that any relationship can be made stronger with regular interactions and contact. Even these rare ones that are able to survive a drought-filled friendship. But, because these friendships are rooted deep within our souls, free of insecurities and doubts, they still thrive.

This is how I’d describe my relationship between Jesus and myself. I don’t reach out and make the connection nearly as often as I should. But, our bond isn’t based on frills and flourishes. It isn’t a superficial thing. It’s been built on years of Christ proving to me over and over that He is my safe place. No matter when I need Him, He is there. No answering machine recording that says, “Hello, you have reached Jesus Christ. I can’t come to the phone right now. Please leave message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can!”. Jesus is there whenever I need him. It just takes me reaching out to make that connection. My relationship with Christ is definitely stronger when I make the effort to talk with Him. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, “But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.”

But as you know, we all go through seasons of drought. Times when we don’t put in the effort. These seasons don’t make us bad sons and daughters of Christ. They don’t make Jesus love us any less. They make us human. He is going to love us regardless of how much time we spend on the phone with Him. Sometimes I have moments where I’m able to lay on the couch with the phone to my ear, twirling the cord around my fingers, and have a deep conversation. Other times, I’m lucky to send out the text that says, “I need you today.” But you know what, both are connections. Times when I’m telling Christ that I trust Him to take the lead and to take control. He knows that in those moments I am doing the best that I can.

Lately my communication skills have been limited to S.O.S texts. My family and I recently suffered a tragic loss. This has left me in a fog and seeking darkness. Now don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not hunting down the enemy. I’m pursuing the quietness, the dimness to allow myself time to grieve. Time to meet Christ on my terms and work through my hurts. Hidden hurts within my chest that I never knew could exist. It is an ache so deep it takes your breath away. I choose the darkness because I know Jesus will purse me in it. Psalms 139:12 tells me, “but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you.”If darkness is what I need, Jesus will meet me there. He is there to hold tight to me as I weep. He is there to stand guard against the devil. Meet him toe-to-toe and keep the darkness from seeping all the way in. He will stand next to me, supporting me, holding me up until I am able to stand on my own two feet again.

The song Reckless Love by Coy Asbury is quickly becoming a favorite. Some of the lines that really speak to my heart say, “There’s no shadow You won’t’ light up, mountain You won’t climb up, coming after me.” God’s love for us is reckless. It knows no bounds, no limits, no requirements. He will follow us down the deepest, darkest hole as long as we invite Him. He will surround us with His light and stand watch. He will comfort us within our darkness for as long as we need. If we trust in Him, even in the harshest drought, we will survive. He is the light that will lead us back when we’re ready. It’s our choice to either follow or stay in the darkness.

“Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God. Oh, it chases me down, fights ‘til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine. And I couldn’t earn it and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away. Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God.”